The Ultimate Guide to Your 30s for People Who Just Turned 30

Photo credit: Crafty Morning

Now that I’m 35, I feel well qualified to share unsolicited advice on getting the most out of your 30s and all it has to offer. Granted, my views are based on a relatively small sample size of one person and five years, but if there is one thing I am sure of is that you should always trust unsolicited advice from strangers on the Internet:

Take care of your body

All of the things you put your body through in your 20s is coming back to haunt you. Your mileage may vary, but at some point between now and 35 you’re going to notice that your body isn’t as resilient as it used to be. You won’t bounce back from illness, injury, or a big night out as quickly as you’re used to. If you haven’t developed good eating and exercise habits yet, then now is the time to start. Exercise 4–5 times per week for at least 20 minutes. It can be as simple as walking. Your meals should be smaller, eaten 3–5 per day, consisting mostly of vegetables, and enjoyed with a glass of water (yes, sparkling is fine). Either stop drinking alcohol or reduce it to 1–2 drinks per week. And if you’re not getting seven to nine hours of sleep each night, you need to start. Your mind isn’t as quick as it used to be, and not getting enough sleep is only going to make focusing, problem-solving, and performing your best at work that much harder. This is the most obvious, shared, and hardest piece of advice people struggle with in their 30s. Caffeine, sugar, alcohol, salt are all *addicting*, and it’s hard to kick. Start small by reducing your intake of the bad stuff, exercising just 10 minutes once or twice per week, and then go from there.

See a therapist and get over your shit

Whatever baggage you have collected in your teens and 20s, it’s time to deal with it. Pushing it off is either making you undatable, driving your partner crazy, or holding you back from fulfilling your true potential. The most important thing is to become of aware of your emotions and how you react in situations, and then learning how to communicate with others and manage your neurosis and/or the coping mechanisms you’ve developed from adolescent trauma. Plus, it feels wonderful to just vent for an hour.

Take care of your skin

Spend time applying sunblock on your face in the mornings, and any other parts of your body that will be exposed to the Sun when you go out. Wash your face with a quality facewash and moisturize as well. You don’t need an insane skincare routine, but you do need to take care of your skin on a very basic level to avoid skin cancer and maintain that elasticity. When you get into your 40s, 50s, and 60s you’ll be thankful you did all you could to keep yourself protected from the Sun and that you kept your skin radiant.

Ditch social media as a form of entertainment

It’s toxic, a time-suck, and generally not good for your mental health. Unless you are relying on social media for an income, or using it to bond with others over a common interest, consider deleting all of your social media apps. If you’re using social media to share photos of your family, create a closed group on WhatsApp or Telegram and share your pictures there. There’s absolutely no reason to put your private pictures on social media other than vanity. Which is fine, but then you’re an asshole. As I’ll explain later in this guide ruthlessly prioritizing your time is so important and wasting time on social media looking for validation or comparing yourself to others is not a good use of it. Staying off these apps will help you become more mindful and engage or at least observe what’s going on around you. You’ll get to bed earlier, and feel less anxious in general. Try ditching the apps for just a few days, and you’ll notice that you’re generally in a better mood when you don’t have to constantly seek likes or check on how other people are living.

Get your finances in order

Time is still very much on your side and preparing for retirement is all about time. You have probably spent most of your 20s broke as you were in school, working an entry-level job or unemployed, exploring the world, creating a blog and online persona, going out every night, building a company that ultimately failed, or maybe you just got out a very painful divorce. Whatever your financial situation, your 30s is not the time to fuck around with your finances. You’ll need money for that engagement ring, wedding, house downpayment, baby, minivan, and your “happy surprise” second child. And as you’ve come to realize you probably don’t have enough money or realize how soon those expenses are going to hit you. Here is all the financial advice you’re going to need in plain English:

• Take out a long term disability insurance policy for yourself. In the event you have a major accident and cannot work for 180+ days you’ll be glad you have a policy. Even if your employer provides short term disability insurance, you’ll need a policy like this. In the rare case they offer long term disability, it is probably contingent on you working there (and there is no guarantee your next employer will provide you with a policy). Having an independent long term disability insurance policy is a non-negotiable hedge on life. Notice this is the first, and not the last, step I recommend.
• If you haven’t done so already, start contributing to your employer-sponsored 401k, especially if there is a matching program (that’s free money). Contribute up to the match. For example, if they match the first 2%, then contribute 2% of your gross paycheck.
• Next, build a savings account balance to cover at least two months of expenses. Most people would advise three to six months of emergency savings, but I believe two is a realistic goal for most people. However, if you can manage to save even more do it and save enough money to cover six months to a year of your necessary expenses (e.g., food, rent, utilities, debt service).
• Once you have a solid nest egg, and you’re contributing to your retirement, pay down your high-interest debt using the snowball method.
• After your high-interest debt is paid off, and you have at least two months of expenses saved, increase your 401k contributions to at least 10%. If your employer or 401k plan allows it, elect to have your contributions automatically increase 1–2% every year.
• Open a Roth IRA and contribute to that as well. Ideally, you want to maximize your contributions every year. Invest as much as you can afford.
• For both 401k/IRA and Roth IRA only invest in Vanguard index funds or some other low-cost index fund. If you’re not sure about the right asset allocation across these funds then I’d recommend using a robo advisor like Betterment or Wealthfront to help you create a solid investment strategy. The most important thing to remember is that you need to stick with index funds and not invest in actively managed funds which significantly lower or cancel out your gains.
• Now, build a savings account for those big expenses: engagement ring, house downpayment, new baby, car, etc. Work on improving your skills so you’re killing it at your career. Prioritize earning more with multiple income streams and negotiating a raise in your current job over being frugal and living like a stoic. You stand to gain a lot more for the time you spend increasing your income over cutting your expenses after a certain point.
• Finally, purchase one Bitcoin. I’m serious. There is a greater than 20% chance that our government-backed fiat currencies will fail inside of our lifetimes or you may find yourself in a position where the government confiscates your assets. Bitcoin is a borderless, unconfiscatable store of value. You may have heard a lot of skepticism around it in the last few years; however, the technology is over ten years old and has proven to be very resilient and continues to rise in value. The stories of it being hacked have to do with exchanges and “online vaults” not the Bitcoin blockchain itself. My advice is to use Coinbase or Gemini to purchase at least one Bitcoin or the equivalent of 1% of your total net worth (whichever is greater) and store it in a Ledger Nano S wallet. It’s important not to leave your Bitcoin on an exchange or in the custody of anyone else but you. In the event you lose access to your bank accounts or the world economy tanks at least you’ll have a recognized store of wealth the government cannot touch, cannot destroy through monetary policy, and you don’t have to carry or declare it as you dash across the border. Bitcoin is currently under $3,500. If you can’t afford at least one, you can purchase as little as $1 worth of it. But have at least 1% of your assets in Bitcoin. Not Ethereum. Not Litecoin. Not Ripple. Bitcoin.
• Does this all seem very confusing? Then hire a FEE-ONLY certified financial planner to repeat this same information to you. I’m not joking. If you pay someone for this advice you’re more likely to follow it anyway. And be sure to ask if the advisor is “fee-only” not to be confused with “fee-based” or commission-based.

Understand that time is not money, and time is more valuable than money

While we’re on the subject of money, please take the subtitle to heart. Understand that you’re effectively trading your time for a job and selling hours of your life for a price. So think about how you want to use it. Pretend that your time is worth $1,000/hour and spend it accordingly. This exercise will force you to consider how best to “waste” the difference between the worth of your time and your wages or whether the people/activity/obligation is worth $1,000 an hour. If you’re a millionaire reading this and your time is, in fact, worth $1,000+ hour — fuck you.

Ruthlessly prioritize and learn to say ‘No’

As you become more senior in your career you’re going to have less time to do, listen, watch, or go to all of the things. Your body has less energy, it’s harder for you to focus in the mid-afternoon, and you need 7–9 hours of sleep each night more than ever. And as you begin building a family, or a company, you’re going to have less time to keep up with it all. It will be very important for you to determine what is most important to you, prioritize those 1–3 things, and say No to everything else. This may mean missing birthday parties, baby showers, weddings, time with dear friends, or idly scrolling through social media. Do what matters most to you because your time is everything and your mental resources, and physical stamina are more limited.

It’s not too late to start over

I don’t care if you spent a decade in a career or went to law/business/medical school: it is not too late to start over if you’re miserable. You still have the majority of your life ahead of you, and life is long. Why spend it doing something you hate? I understand there are lifestyle considerations. You may need to earn a certain income to afford a home in the right school district for your children, or perhaps you want an upscale lifestyle. For the former, that’s understandable, but there are many creative ways to do something you enjoy and make enough money to stay in your current home. And for the latter consider this: if the lifestyle you have is so great, why are you miserable? How will more money make you happier? And if you don’t fall into either camp, then take the leap and make that career change.

You’re not old, and you sound like an idiot when you say that

When I turned 25, I felt OLD. Looking back, I realize how stupid and naive I was to say that aloud. And now that I’m 35, I know well enough not go around saying, “I’m old.” The vast majority of my life is still ahead of me, and with the singularity soon upon us, my consciousness will live forever! All joking aside, you’re still very much young and full of potential in your 30s, and you need not feel like anything is set in stone or that you are condemned to a situation, relationship, or career. You still have the opportunity, if you’re willing to be creative, to pursue your dreams or change the course of your life.

Keep investing in yourself and growing

Take classes that teach you a new skill. Volunteer for new assignments at work outside of your comfort zone. Learn an instrument or a language. Keep your learning muscle flexing so that you can adapt to a world that will never stop changing. The ground is moving beneath you, and you need to stay agile. Improving yourself will not only help make you a better person, but it will also keep you employed in a fulfilling career.

That’s it from me, and those are my keys to success in your 30s. Share any other tips you might have below. For those of you are soon to be 30, what other advice did you want to hear?